I didn’t really fear death. After all, I
was a member of one of the wildest generations
ever born in the US. Probably the
wildest generation anywhere. Most of us
knew death could be right around the corner
with the push of a button.

     

When I came of age, the newspaper
headlines told of riots and Vietnam. The
Cuban Missile Crisis, The John Kennedy
assassination, Bobby Kennedy’s killing, followed
by Martin Luther King’s murder. We
lived through Woodstock, the Kent State
massacre, and Haight-Ashbury. Peace, love,
music, and drugs. What more could anyone
want?

But it didn’t start out that way. In
fact, for most Americans born after World
War II, the late 1940s and all of the 1950s
were marked by prosperity and good times.
We were “war babies,” the Baby
Boomer generation. World War II was the
war to end all wars, so bringing up children
in a land of peace was assured.

   

None of us thought we were part of a
generation destined to go wild. We looked at
life through the rose-colored glasses that
were a cultural icon of the times.

But throughout my childhood, I
could never understand why I was born.
What was my purpose? I wanted to find
meaning in life, but couldn’t figure out how
to do it. I searched in all the wrong places,
starting with small steps but taking enough
bad turns to stay on the wrong path.

Matters of Life and Death

There was a lot of fear on campus in
those days, but no one cared. It was “us
against them.” I didn’t really have any idea
who “them” was.

Maybe it’s our parents, I
thought. Many rally speakers and war protesters
called the enemy the “establishment.”
“What in the world is the ‘establishment’?”
I asked. I never got a straight
answer. 

But I soon started believing it was
anyone who wasn’t with us. If you were not
against the Vietnam War, you were considered
the establishment.

   

The assassinations of Martin Luther
King and Robert F. Kennedy deeply affected
my rebellion. I found life extremely confusing,
and I met many people who felt the
same way. In fact, thousands of us were desperately
trying to find the meaning of life.